Presents

Oprah Winfrey -Celebrity Gate Crasher

"Excuse me, madame, but do you have an invitation?"
"Are you on the guest list?"

"No?... Well, I'm sorry, but if you do not have an invitation and you are not on the guest list, you cannot come in. The store is closed for a private reception."

"YEAH? Well I'm OPRAH WINFREY"

"That is very nice, madame, however since you do not have an invitation and your name is not on our guest list, please come back tomorrow during normal store hours."

Oprah Winfrey may be an American TV star, but she was just another gatecrasher trying to get into the Hermès party. Oprah can be excused for not knowing the politique francaise, which can be succinctly put "sans carton, sans entrée" - no invitation, no entry. Oprah just got a good lesson in the fact that she's not French, and she wasn't invited to a private party thrown by Hermès for its French clientele. Hermès, one of the finest, if not the finest, French luxury clothier and leather goods manufacturer, annually holds a private party for its favored guests- rich French customers, big name French journalists, French celebrities. The key word there is 'French'. Hermès sends out very elegant invitations to the select few on their list.

The flagship store, on rue du Faubourg Saint Honoré, is eight floors high, but several of those floors are devoted to manufacturing and storage and the upper floors are administrative offices, so the actual footage available for the party is limited. Gate-crashers are always a problem. It is expected that the invited guests may bring some extra friends with them, but uninvited gate-crashers, referred to by the French as "pique-assiettes" or "hirondelles" (plate-pickers or swallows) always try to get in for the free champagne and exquisite hors-d'ouevres such as caviar, smoked salmon, and foie gras.

Keeping the gate-crashers out is simple... Of the two public entrances to Hermès, the main one on St. Honoré and the other on the bordering corner street, the main entrance lets them in and the side entrance lets them out. Security guards are there to keep order and the main entrance is controlled by a 'hostess' with the guest list of invitations and add-ons to the list.

So, Oprah shows up after the store has closed at 6.30PM. She says she showed at 6.45, but it was more likely closer to 7, when the party was set to start. People may still be inside shopping, as she said, but they are completing their purchases and leaving. The big party starts at 7, and Hermès is not letting anyone in... Unless they have the invitation.

People start showing up with invitations and getting in. Oprah sees it and starts getting pissed off. She's got her entourage with her and Oprah must feel she's getting dissed. Why, she's Oprah Winfrey!!!!

"Sans carton, sans entrée."

Oprah just doesn't get it. She's not French, she's not on the guest list, and she doesn't have the invitation. Who cares that she's an American TV star?????? This is France, this is Hermès, and this is their private party for their invited guests.... Not her.

Oh!!!!! So it must be that she's black! What a shameless exploitation of the race card.

It ain't 'cuz youz black hunny, itz 'cuz ya'all ain't FRENCH!!!!!! And ya'all ain't gotz no in-vee-tayshin, an' ya'all ain't on da gezz lizt!!!!!

Would Oprah’s security let someone in to her private party without an invitation or without their name on the guest list???????? No way, no way, no way. But they say that they are a famous French television star!!!!

"Sans carton, sans entrée, pal."
As the Great and Powerful Wizard of Oz said, "Come back tomorrow!"

Now, if she had the ability to control herself and think, she would have had her hotel maitre d' call Hermès and explain that Ms. Winfrey was in town and was a very famous American television personality and was wanting to attend their special event. The maitre d' would have asked in French and would certainly been known by Hermès and they would have certainly put her name on the guest list quite promptly. But she didn't, he didn't, and they didn't.

And so.... "Sans carton, sans entrée."

Case closed. Come back tomorrow during normal store hours. Au revoir!